Aho

Greetings Brothers,

I hope you are enjoying the beginning of summer.  I’m going to see if I can get you caught up on what is happening in our center as well as how we are looking forward to the future.

In the next few weeks you will be receiving more specific information on our re-structuring effort here in the Northwest Center.  We are looking to simplify the way we operate and potentially make some changes to the council.  You will be asked for your input and any concerns you may have.  We are basically looking to move to a board of directors.  I see this as a natural evolution.  I would like to see a smaller board of directors dealing with the business and free up some other men to build community at home.  We think we can operate more efficiently.  Please look for more info in the coming weeks. 

One of the places where there is still much room to grow is around community.  I believe we have failed to bring the women and children into our community in any meaningful way.  Announcing………Our first major Mixed Gender Event!!!!!

Chautauqua……..Oct. 1,2,3, ……At Camp Wa-ri-ki…..

Lets put on a weekend focusing on the women and children.  Friday there will be a “Golden Hot-seat” for children and adolescents.  Your children will have the opportunity to be blessed one at a time by the greater community.  On Saturday we will have a ceremony honoring the women in our lives.  There will be activities for kids…..kickball, softball, swimming in the river, ping-pong, games , hikes…..and other events specifically for kids.  There will also be the opportunity to spend some time looking at how men and women make stories about each other as well as project onto children.

Sweats……Games…..Honoring……Anybody is welcome…….Family and friends!!!

Please put the first weekend in October on your calendar.  More will be announced soon.

This will be an event ………..for sure.

Center Accountability;

We raised staff fees last year.  It is of course an on-going challenge to provide funds  for men who don’t have money to attend the NWTA.    At the time we put this years budget together  “the NW council”  told the community that all of the money from staff fees would be going to scholarship.  We/I am of accountability with that promise.  What we are making more important is to try and stay in financial integrity around our other commitments.  This was done with the best of intentions.  However….we cannot afford to put all of the staff fees towards scholarship, It in fact makes our cash flow problems much worse. I can see how this looks like a bait and switch.  I assure you it was not.  The shadow is that we are often too optimistic as to what money the center will bring in a given year.  We end up making commitments to our community with the best of intentions.  I feel sadness that we are not able to live up to the commitment around staff fees.  Do not plan on staff fees going up again………not if I can stop it. After a slow start to the year in both additional trainings and initial I-groups, we will be dipping into our reserves that we would rather not touch ever.  This is not unlike other challenges we have faced before.  And….with a strong fall hopefully we can put the reserve money back.

Please put the Chautauqua down for October and be on the lookout for info regarding our restructuring. 

As you attend your summer events and gatherings be on the lookout for men to join our circle.

Perhaps there are some men who would benefit with what we know. 

Perhaps you know men who could teach us something.

If you see something that isn’t happening in your community………Make it happen.

- Robert “Groov’n Walrus” Crowell

by Miik “Enveloping SilverBack” Wells

So, here I sit in this cage in the king’s courtyard…my anger is overflowing, pouring through my pores, as I struggle mightily with these bars.  I can’t unleash my full force, because all it would do is hurt me and my wife, who is in here with me.
 
I wasn’t prepared for THIS part of coming home.
 
I remember being freed from my watery prison in February of 2008.  I had an awesome job as a movement teacher in a Head Start preschool, which gave me the perfect opportunity to act out my reawakened inner force—with children, with teachers, with coworkers, with friends.  I immediately introduced everyone to my next level and started weaving my dreams into the fabric of reality!
 
Fast forward to May 2009 and it was all stolen from me…to this day, I am STILL imprisoned in unemployment.  Each resume sent out is an attempt to break these bars, each rejection is someone in the courtyard mocking me, each bill a lash from a guard’s whip across my face.  I’m trying to unfurl the lesson in this, but I’m ALREADY a reflective individual, so all this thought is merely adding to my volcanic pressure.
 
It’s June 2010…where is that little boy with his golden ball?  I KNOW he is my freedom.  Every sunrise, candle and bonfire raise my hopes only to be cut down, yet again.  I’m sad…where is he?  I’m ashamed…why isn’t he here?  I’M SO DAMN ANGRY!  LET ME OUT OF THIS CAGE!!!
 
This “conversation” I wrote in 2008 seems apropos:
 
Straight in the face of a menace.  An undeniable maniacal presence of aggression.  Never backing down from a position of restriction, this tyrant pleads at me with his transparent intimidation to ease off the pressure.  I refuse…
 
What you did was uncalled for.  How you reacted was wrong.  Why you did it was small.  Who you attacked was your brother.  You embodied EVERYthing you see wrong with what “the man” stands for to you:  merciless, uncaring, manipulative, overbearing, controlling and foolish!  Oh, yes, you did…
 
Nevermind how you underminded the fertile process of a rich opportunity.  Nevermind how you hijacked the wondrous process of discovering a deeper sense of communal identity.  Nevermind that you punched the gut of EVERY person in that room who had even an iota of understandable trepidation.  You became an enemy to your family…
 
Looking deep into the eyes of a scared little boy, cowering behind his Frankenstein’s monster—I remember that little boy, still.  Actually, I not only remember, but I still AM that scared little boy.  My decision to dispense with my own monster representative turns out to be the difference between me and this quasi-imposing figure.  I can see this puppet master desperately hoping that which it clashes with will flinch at the overplayed display, so the tongue-numbing truth will not have to be tasted; trying everything in its arsenal to move this force from its solid position, in an effort to stay hidden away in the comforts of its cave.
 
I’m an ego-terrorist, boy!  The natural will prevail…it’s a birthright.  No apologies will be offered by intuition, as it simply JUST IS.  And, your wanting it NOT TO BE reveals a deep-rooted willful ignorance that borders blatant stupidity, which MUST be purged!
 
I wish you well in your travels, even if you choose to stand before me again; but, know this:  any, and I do mean ANY, harmful energies wrought by your being in the direction of my being or any being or life I care for WILL have devastating affects to you and your whirld.
 
No threat…  Simply…what…is…

with profound love,
Miik

By Abhishek “Radiant Serpant” Kulkarni

After the NWTA weekend in April at Camp Wariki, it felt so wonderful to have the support of so many brothers for the first time in my life. I have always missed this feeling, this vacuum that had never been filled up until this weekend. I feel blessed and grateful and give thanks to the Almighty who is guiding me along on my journey.

I felt a strong desire to share an incident with you all that was so powerful for me. As brother “Definitive Jaguar” and I were driving back to Seattle, we made our first stop at a gas station to stretch our legs. As soon as I got out of the car, along came a sweet little boy, probably 5-6 years old, with the most wonderful smile on his face, bubbling with innocence, and he eagerly asked me “Can I clean your wind shields?” I looked at his face and could not stop smiling. It was an amazing feeling looking into his eyes. I asked him “Would you like to clean them?” and he replied with the most enthusiastic yes. And as he started cleaning the back windshield, he told me his name was Elijah and that it is mentioned in the Bible. Then he told me that he likes songs with a lot of bass in them and mentioned a few names. I just kept looking at his face with rapture. When he was done, I asked him if I could touch his hands. I held them in my hands and felt joy and happiness all inside me. I told him he is such a wonderful child and I bless him all the happiness in the world and would like to give him some money as a token of appreciation for his work.

Elijah took the money and then said “I want to clean the front windshield too”. He had such a broad smile on his face doing the work he was doing, that I could not say no to him. He then asked me if this was my car, to which I replied that yes, it is my and my wife’s car. And then Elijah said the sweetest thing I had heard, “I want to clean the side mirrors as a surprise gift for your wife” and started wiping the mirror with a towel. At that point, I had tears in my eyes looking at the beautiful spirit inside this boy. As I bent down, and looked into his eyes again, and thanked him for his work, his smile just pierced straight through my heart to my very core. It was so magical for me to think that my first human interaction to the outside world came in the form of an innocent little boy, who acted as a mirror for the inner child within me; the divine child with whom I got connected for the first time in my life during the hero’s journey and through the powerful visualizations at the weekend. And here he was, manifesting as Elijah, smiling and happy that I had seen through to him and finally had the courage to hear his voice. I could not help but marvel at the beauty in the universe and the guiding forces at work. It further strengthened my belief in what I have always felt to be true: once I declare my intentions and wants consciously and clearly to the universe, the universe starts conspiring to make things happen for me. I felt truly humbled and blessed by this entire incident. I know I will never forget Elijah’s face and his radiant smile, I shall carry the memories of this experience with me forever.

Once again, I cannot put in words the amount of gratitude and appreciation I have for each and every man who was there with me this weekend, standing shoulder to shoulder, as the wall of support that I had always wished for. My wish came true this weekend and I feel alive again, looking forward to the journey ahead. I know this was but one step forward on the long road ahead, the long and winding road to discover my own heart and soul.

By Jack “Seagull” Hilovsky

This Father’s Day marked the 10th Anniversary of my Dad’s death. The milestone was sacred to me. While I honor my father on his birthday, April 2, by attending Mass at St. James Cathedral in Seattle (my parents raised me in the Catholic faith) I will never forget the day of his passing from this Earth into the next realm.

Frank Hilovsky, born in 1913, lived an entire life before I arrived on the scene in 1963, a few short months after his 50th Birthday. My pregnant grandmother, a U.S. citizen, had sailed back to Europe and gave birth to my father in her family’s native Czechoslovakia.

My father told me stories of the Depression and how my grandmother took in boarders to make ends meet, but still found it in her heart to feed drifters who appeared on their backdoor step, hungry and forgotten. My grandfather, whom my grandmother married in the old country and brought back to America, spoke no English at all. Often people for whom he worked building fences or other small construction projects took advantage of him, paying him far less than the sum of his labor. These formative experiences shaped my father, who always instilled in me a respect for the little guy, the person who needed an extra hand because life had not afforded them access to power and prestige.

My Dad served in the Second World War and shipped off to Europe in 1945. His brigade liberated many of the concentration camps as Hitler’s campaign collapsed in the waning days of the military effort. In my own adulthood I asked him to speak more about his experience in the army, a time of fond recollection for my father. Toward the end of his life, my mother and he would attend reunions in New York City and Virginia Beach with a coterie of his army buddies and their families. I wish I would have joined them.

Things I remember about my father: he savored a good “Dagwood” sandwich, as he called them, with all the fixings–bologna, salami, cheese, lettuce, and tomato. He enjoyed telling a good joke, sometimes ribald or off-color, but never mean-spirited, and would laugh as loud as the next person when he arrived at the punchline. He loved nature and when we travelled “Out West” to Colorado, Utah and Arizona, he excitedly began a rock and fossil collection. Every summer he planted a vegetable garden in our backyard, and flowers in the front and back of the house. He taught me a respect for the flag. And despite their troubles with communication, he loved my Mom. Once toward the end of their lives, when my mom was suffering from depression, he confided “I miss her smile and the sound of her laughter.”

My father died on June 20, 2000, on a starlit summer solstice evening with pinks, oranges, and purples racing through the evening sky. My mother and I were there to hold his hand, a moment etched in memory. The next day I drove to Lake Erie, and dove into the rolling waves, lapping at my feet and engulfing me in their turgid reverie. I could feel his presence in the afternoon sun, the surging tides, the light breeze on my back. Comfort abounded.

Several days later at his memorial an army bugler played taps on the front lawn of St. Angela Merici, the church my parents attended for 47 years and where I served as an altar boy in grade school. I gave the eulogy and talked about Dad’s love of the plain speaking Harry Truman and his “buck stops here” philosophy. I mentioned his love of country and the annual vegetable garden.

And then they presented Mom and me with the flag, earlier draped on his coffin, now in a tightly folded triangle. I reverently accepted it and have kept it as a testament to my father’s fortitude and grace. And recognition there’s a part of him I’ll never know.

By Jon “Compassionate Father Wolf” Witte

About 15 years ago I was invited by a good friend to take part in something called “The New Warrior Training Adventure.” I had already begun doing some personal growth work, so what I heard about this weekend sounded intriguing. 

However, I was put off by the term “New Warrior”.  It conjured up dominating macho images that I wanted no part of.  After all I was sympathetic to the feminist movement and believed then, as I still do, that a lot of harm and suffering has been caused by the desire to dominate others as is evident in many patriarchal societies. 

I even had this nagging feeling that I might be at least partly to blame for this simply because I was born with a Y chromosome.  To a certain extent I felt guilt and shame about being a male in our society; I was, what I now call, an “apologetic male”.  

Given that, how could I possibly participate in something called  “New Warriors”? 

But despite my hesitation, certain aspects that I had learned about the training, resonated with something deep inside, and decided to sign up anyway.

That experience changed my life… and my understanding of who I am.

My involvement with this organization, now known as the Mankind Project, caused me to look at my life honestly and when I did, I saw that in my own way I had taken on many of the attributes of a warrior, just without the violent overtones.

I had accepted without hesitation the responsibility to do whatever it took to provide for my family.  One result was that I spent long hours away from home working at a job that often provided little personal satisfaction.  Looking back I see that this created lots of emotional turmoil inside…variously stirring up anger, resentment, sadness, and fear. 

However, like a good warrior I crafted a tough emotional shield to protect myself and I kept my pain well hidden…most of the time even from myself.  I became emotionally shut down.  I went from planning and completing one task on to the next, and the next, with little questioning or reflection. 

Except for my wife, Donna, I didn’t feel close to anyone. Although I had many acquaintances, I had very few close friends.

My sense of passion and spirituality were non-existent.  I was tolerating and enduring life, but not really enjoying it or living it fully.

____

Through my work with the Mankind Project, I learned about what is known as the Warrior Archetype.  It seems to exist in all men and it’s that part of us which is hardwired into our DNA and our cultural histories.  It comes from eons of evolutionary pressure to protect, defend, and provide for other members of the clan.  The survival of the tribe at one time depended on it.  Being a Warrior was once a noble societal role, demanding strength, courage and appropriate uses of force in service to the community within a vast and sometimes dangerous world.

I found that I did possess many of the attributes of a Warrior, however I learned that I could choose to express them in different ways.

For example, I discovered that I possessed courage.  It might not be exactly the same kind of courage that it must have taken to storm the beaches at Normandy, but courage none-the-less. 

It is the kind of courage that it would take to begin to let down the impenetrable armor that had protected me from experiencing my emotional pain.  Although that armor had done its job extremely well, it had cost me a hefty personal price.  Letting it down, though, was not an easy decision to make — or action to take. 

    To actually go inside and to find out who I really was…to confront my fears, to experience my grief, to acknowledge my regrets, and to allow myself to be truly vulnerable with other people was extremely scary.  It went totally against how I had lived my life for the previous 45 years.  But I did so anyway.

It has been difficult and many times I have been reluctant, often held back by fear and apprehension.  Those old mental tapes would say, “Don’t do it!  Don’t let your guard down!  Be safe!” 

However, not once have I looked back with regret for taking the risk to do the work needed to discover and to heal old wounds.  For me, having the courage to look deep inside and then having the discipline and resolve to stick with it, no matter what I found, defines the task of a Spiritual Warrior. 

The benefits of walking this path, for me, have been many.

First, I’ve learned to truly appreciate and to love the person I am, even those parts of me that I’m not always proud of.  Because of this I find that I less often feel the need to seek approval from others.  Not that I don’t enjoy receiving it, but I am no longer dependent on it.  I am satisfied and happy being who I am.

Secondly, I’ve learned to be more patient and compassionate, not just toward others, but also toward myself.  My inner critic has become much less judgmental, even though he refuses to give up his job completely.  As a result I find myself seeking out opportunities to pursue passions and activities that bring me joy.

This might includes, at times, setting aside tasks on my “to do” list, and instead, choosing to do things like spending 35 days snowboarding in the mountains this past winter, or sitting for 30-60 minutes most mornings in quiet meditation. 

These and similar experiences have become “sacred spaces” for me.  They feed my soul.  And because I am more compassionate with myself I am generally no longer plagued by the guilt that I previously experienced when deciding to take time for myself.  This “self time” no longer feels “selfish”, but rather “self-nurturing”, and is rich and satisfying.

Third, I’ve developed a personal life mission that helps to guide me and keep me on track.  In its current form it is expressed simply as:  “I co-create loving community by opening my compassionate heart.”

When I keep this intention in my consciousness I find that my life tends to run smoothly and is more fulfilling.  An example of this has been my participation in the vibrant Men’s Group here at the Fellowship.  I experience a lot of joy in being with other men who are willing to share from their hearts.

Finally, I also have deepened my relationships with family and friends.  I find I am more patient, a more active listener,  and also a person who can support and challenge others to strive for what’s right for them, by setting aside my own agenda of “my way is the right way”.

My journey as a Spiritual “New” Warrior, although long, is by no means complete.  I don’t believe it ever will be, at least not in this lifetime.  I will continue to travel along my path, and I expect that from time to time I may temporarily stray from it.  However, I trust that I will be guided back to it as long as I travel with an open heart and choose to listen to what it has to say. 

By Alexander “Black Panther” Cayer

“I am a prophet of Love, a teacher of truth, a radiance of inspiration and transformation. I inspire healing, wisdom, and leadership for those who wish to attain self-mastery and achieve their full potential.  I am here to be an educator, transition specialist, and author.  By being this I get to experience a world of magnificence”

In January of 1991 I journeyed to Missoula, Montana to attend the University of Montana.  I was living in Salem NH a small suburb of Boston with a population of approximately 30,000+. When I left, I remember feeling frustrated with my life and wanted something more, something different than the life my family lived. I didn’t want to “end up” like my family,  I wanted to be different from them, I wanted to be successful where I perceived they weren’t, I wanted to prove myself to the world and make something of myself.   I had no idea that my desire to be different from my family was not about them, it was about me. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but my desire to “break free” and “escape” my family and New England was about four things.  First, to be free of the people I thought were holding me back and brought me down. Secondly, to discover my destiny, genius, what I valued and made me the unique person I was, and be validated and recognized for these things. Third, to love myself in my entirety.  Lastly, seek out and get the guidance and wisdom I required to mature into the person I was destined to become.

If I had known my true desires for leaving New England I would have been able to effectively heal the feelings I felt at age 21 when I decided to leave New Hampshire, my family and those, despite my judgments, I truly loved.  I didn’t know at the time that my soul was calling me to leave because the parts of me that weren’t serving my true self needed to be shed aside and “cast away” so that I could “flower” into the person I was destined to become. I didn’t know at the time that my soul was calling for a vision quest an initiation process; a separation from my cocoon, individuation, and recognition; a returning to and welcoming back into the community for why I am here and who I uniquely am.

As I grew older and  my extended “vision quest” continued,  the frustration I felt in 1991 escalated from a small fire to a raging inferno in 2001.  My fire grew because I had not clearly identified the source of my frustration and not yet found a way to heal the feelings.  I didn’t always see it, but all along the way I was gifted with experiences and “angels” that were there for me in my quest for self-discovery and self-actualization.  In Montana I became part of a men’s group, joined a unity church, studied metaphysical teachings, and participated in sweat lodges with spiritual leaders of the Blackfeet Nation.  In Seattle I learned about holistic healing, fasting, doing acupuncture, bodywork, and adopting a macrobiotic diet. In Seattle I learned some of the worlds best personal development methodologies, Dr. John Demartini’s collapse process, participated in a coming of age program that draws on metaphysical teachings and processes, most recently learned from Dr. Robert Glover Breaking Free processes.

I wasn’t sure what value the NWTA would have for me. Prior to the weekend I had accomplished so much in my 19 year initiation process. I “casted” away many of the false personalities and fantasies that prevented me from seeing and being me, I had a clearer sense of my purpose, genius, values and how to achieve them.  I felt validated and recognized for the first time in my life. I experienced enhanced levels of self-love and certainty.  I looked forward to the weekend and wondered how it would benefit me, I only had intuitive reasoning to attend.

The week before the weekend I almost decided to withdraw.  I began to look for reasons to cancel.  I later realized that I was fighting my completion of a 28 year initiation process(I believe it began at age 11)  I committed myself to attending. 

I was fortunate to carpool to the weekend with 3 other men from the Seattle Area.  Our journey was wonderful, yet I felt some angst about attending.  My angst was minor. Once we arrived and we “lived” through the initial process I settled into the weekend.  For most of the weekend I felt at “home”, loving the processes, learning about myself and new ways of doing old processes, adding new processes, bonding with other men, and most importantly having tons of “fun”!  I occasionally had some anxiety about what was to come next, for the most part I experienced the weekend in a playful way.

Participating in the weekend enabled me to complete my 28 year initiation process.  I got to experience being welcomed back into the community for who I truly am and the place I find my true power, experiencing recognition and validation on a deeper level.  I got to “cast away” on a deeper level beliefs and personalities that are not serving me any longer.  I embraced on a deeper level my wholeness, especially in the areas of my sexuality and masculinity.  I connected with men who I know will hold me accountable for my purpose, my life’s aim, and fulfilling my potential.  After the weekend I’ve been able to see with crystal clarity my life goals that will help me achieve my purpose, my potential, and live a fulfilling life.

My only wish after leaving the weekend is that it would have beneficial to me if the mankind project had individuals designated to consult with new warriors who wish to make their profession about empowering others, as the mankind project and NWTA does, providing them with assistance and direction to effectively achieve professional personal development goals.  I went into the weekend wanting to connect with a mentor who would see my potential and help me develop this potential as a facilitator of initiation processes professionally.     

Looking at my life’s goals presently feels like a daunting task.  I am stepping into the unknown, not knowing exactly how I’ll accomplish what I am setting out to be, do, and have in my life.  I require guidance and hard work to fulfill my entrepreneurial goals. But the pain of fearing the unknown is much more comfortable than the pain of compromising my integrity.  I look forward to serving teens in making their initiation/transition process in a timely and efficient manner for those who wish to do so.

by Eric “Dragon” Grace

I attended the NWTA weekend in February 2010. I had been in WaRiKi once before, seven years prior, but I had left the weekend right after the PIT work. I had felt above it all at the time. And I felt the way people were being ‘processed’ was wrong, I stood in front of sixty or so men and told them so and then left the weekend.

The second time I went, this last month, I had a very different experience. Leading up to the weekend, I feared that I would experience the same thing as the last time. Or that I would feel the men buffing themselves up, and amping me up to some high, that would eventually create a crash afterwards for me – playing out in destructive ways in my relationships in my real world life. (I still have yet to see if this is the case)

I was fortunate enough to carpool with 5 of the initiates driving both up and back from the weekend. This was so wonderful. To begin to connect with other men, in and of itself was a gift. When I got to the retreat, I found myself feeling so soothed by the way the men there were direct with me. I liked having everything taken away. I felt free and solid in myself without anything. I walked in this second time having a sense of what was to come the first day and a half. I cheated a bit you could say. But perhaps this made me be able to enjoy the process all the more.

And I did enjoy the whole weekend, deeply. It was pleasurable for me in a way that I can only describe as allowing me to feel my goodness and the sacredness of being a man amongst other men. I respected the men there both undergoing the same process as I, and those serving us. I appreciated how many men were willing to show up and serve us in such a generous way. I was curious what they were experiencing as staff in the moments around and away from us. I enjoyed the container that was created for us. The way that we were brought in, through, and led out. Several times in the weekend I went to a deep place of grief that shook my whole body with tears, and then it passed without much mental thoughts around what I was going through. I liked that.

I had committed to myself that this time that I would complete all of the processes no matter what. And I found it pretty easy to do so this time. The only thing that kept me back was at a certain point I had lost my voice from so much screaming and hollering, which I loved doing, and my body began to feel really depleted physically and psychically. I began getting sick. The staff supported me with vitamins and cough drops. And I could have taken respite at any time had I asked for it. But I didn’t want to. After returning home I did get fully sick for a day or so while I was integrating back from the weekend. And this was okay. The weekend was an ordeal. And going through an ordeal does take its toll on several levels.

In the weekend I felt more of my desire to lead with passion. I felt my vitality. I enjoyed my kinship with other men, especially those of my group and those my age that were leaders and healers in their own way. To have peers to share life with is a wonderful thing.

When we left the weekend, I hugged many men. Shared some tears with a few. And then got in our carpool and headed down to Ashland 6 hours away. It was a great ride home. We all really connected deeply on the ride. What a group of men to share this experience with. And to my surprise we were now having the chance to continue onto a group with this cohesive synergy we were all feeling. Something that could build upon from the weekend’s experience. To walk away with the experience of myself as sacred as a man, a deeper feeling and commitment to my mission, and this great group of guys as new friends. Fuck, that’s cool.

Within the first week of integration back from the weekend I had an intense argument with my spiritual teacher and counselor. It came out of the blue. It created some challenging ripples in my life both with my partner and in my future career as a counselor. I am sitting with the grief of the consequences of this argument at the moment. My future is unknown in several areas, but I feel completely willing to face it as it comes.

And later in the week I attended my welcome home celebration. Wow! What a gift to receive and participate in. I know many of the people that were there felt the same way, both the other initiated men and people in the community present. I felt myself saying, “this is what every man deserves to have, his community, deeply knowing and seeing him and welcoming him home”. I was lucky enough to know many of the people that showed up to the ceremony. And to have them stand and acknowledge me in such loving, honest, and validating ways was precious to me. The evening wove the threads of the so many different experiences and circles that I had had here in Ashland over the last 8 years together. I am still integrating it.

As I write this, I have had my first I-group meeting (without facilitation). I felt a bit of fear coming into it, that the energy of the connection and weekend would be gone or largely dissipated, but I think we all found it there within us and around us. A new beginning. I look forward to my fellow brothers getting to know me deeply and me them over time.

I noticed a few disconnects/bumps around how the PIT training was brought to me and others both in the last day of the retreat and in the welcome home night. I was under the impression that we would be going home from the weekend to an ongoing I-group(which is what is happening) with a man from our community facilitating it for 10 weeks for free. And that in addition there was this PIT training that we could take for $250 if we wanted, I was not fully clear that that was about. (The PIT training turned out to be the skillset shared by three men for our I-group – not the man I thought was going to be doing it. These three men I like and feel completely confident in their ability to provide us with the I-group skillset). My hope is that in future trainings and welcome home nights that this information is offered ahead of time and during those situations in a more clear way as it was confusing to me and felt awkward for some reason, perhaps unnecessarily so. This was a minor thing, but I think it affected several people and could have some negative impacts that could be pretty easily remedied.

All in all, I just feel grateful for the experiences I had and continue to have around the training and the integration period. Thank you staff for showing up. Thank you fellow brothers for journeying with me. And thank you Ashland I-group men for circling with me. This has been sacred.

Eric Grace, divinity77@hotmail.com, 541-292-3895 – Ashland, OR
My Blog: www.thebigbowl.wordpress.com
Twitter: @ericgrace
GraceWorks EcoCleaning: www.graceworksecocleaning.wordpress.com
Facebook: EricGrace

By Bill “Snowy Owl” Dare

Last June before the Cascadia Elder Retreat outside Sisters, OR, I spoke with friends and family about being hot seated for the role of Elder Chair in our NW Center. All supported my desire to be hot seated by Brother Elders from outside my Mid-Valley Community.

I’d just spent 6 ½ months at Cascadia as a caretaker. I’d been sitting in three iGroups in Central Oregon (CO) during my stay “up the hill” from my home in Albany. I was called by Spirit to be in Community with men, women and children. While in CO I’d found such a community and done several sweats with them. This was and continues to be a Blessing in this man’s life.

Spirit speaks to me in many ways and I had made a commitment to remain in service to our Center by MOSing. I’d shared with many I wasn’t called to staff and might never staff again. Suddenly Spirit called me in a different direction. So I was honored to be hot seated and considered for Elder Chair. Little did I suspect I’d be the only one hot seated for the role until shortly before the retreat when I spoke with Larry Johnson about the duties of Elder Chair in case I might be chosen.

It was for me a strange experience. Sure I’d been hot seated before, but never in a yurt with over 30 elders present. I was honored to answer your questions, hear your discussion and feedback and receive your support as our current Elder Chair.

It’s been awesome being in service to the Elder Council, Leader body and NW Council. I have wonderful support from Larry Johnson, our current Elder Chair Emeritus and my predecessor, as well as all my Brother Elders throughout our Center. It’s good to be in service to you men.

My way to learn is to be present to those I am representing. This means I will be staffing more as well as MOSing. Spirit and my schedule willing, I’ll travel and sit in any Community Elder circle you men invite me to attend. My iGroup supports me fully and it is a joy to visit other iGroups as a traveling magician when possible.

In all, I’ve already visited three Elder circles in Portland, Ashland and Seattle in addition to attending ours in the Mid-Valley. I was Blessed to be with many of you at Cascadia last year and Fort Worden this year.  I’ve been to a Leader Body retreat last year and worked with our Elder Council in meetings, at retreats and whenever needed. When ill recently and unable to attend the Leader body retreat, both Richard Sims and Larry Johnson stepped up to take my place as Elder. Thank you, Brothers.

We’ve all agreed as Elders, we show up! Thanks to all of you who continue to show up whether in Community, at trainings, workshops or events. Thanks for all your support of our Elder Council and this man. For those wishing to engage at a different level, please contact your Community Elder representative or just show up at your next opportunity.

Our Elder Council has shared the following mission statement:

We empower joyful authentic Eldership by

u Wisdom Keeping and Sharing

u Mentoring

u Earth Stewardship

u Blessing

u Nurturing

ü  Self

ü  Other Elders

ü  Northwest Center

ü  Greater Community

I represent your vote on our NW Council. Please continue to let me know what’s working and what you’d like to see change in our Center and the best practices you share in your Community. Stay tuned for more ways to show up thanks to the efforts of our Center technology team and the new website being rolled out. It is an honor to be of service with you all.

In Grateful Service with Blessings,

Snowy Owl

Bill Dare 541 936 0485

MKPNW Center Elder Chair

Affirmation: As a man among men I am enough; among women I’m in Awe; among children, I’m Blessed and in Community, I’m Complete.

Mission: I enable a Loving world.

I was born in a wooden hospital in the hills of West Virginia and raised by big-hearted free-loving hippies.  It sounds a little crazy but it sure seemed normal.  My father was a brilliant man and knew a whole lot about everything from botany to astrophysics to mechanics. I learned more from him at the dinner table and watching the news than I ever did in school.

My memories of childhood are mostly good. Camping, fishing and playing in the woods with my dog.  We moved around a certain amount from West Virginia to Maryland….then to Pittsburgh…back to Maryland…..and then finally to Oregon when I was in the third grade.  It was about then that I got painfully bored in school.  I learned to do my work quickly and just enough to get an “A”.  This was only to please my father who saw how bright I was and how little I worked at anything in school.  B’s were not acceptable and only showed my laziness.

At about 7^th grade something happened.  Everyone else grew….and I didn’t.  I was quickly the shortest person in my class.  The doctors actually thought about shooting me up with hormones to see if I would grow.  I continued to win spelling bees and mental math contests when I felt like it.  By the eight grade I would lose such things on purpose…..less agony on the playground for the small brainy kid.

All through school I played sports and enjoyed it especially soccer.  My real love soon became the saxophone and music.  I started practicing regularly my freshman year in high-school.  By my Senior year I played all 4 saxophones and had studied classical clainet, flute, and bassoon.  My real love was Jazz and I started winning awards regularly at local festivals and practiced many hours daily throughout high school.

The Saxophone took me to New York when I was 21.  I had been practicing and playing all day every day for 3 years at community college. .  I practiced until I was good enough to get a good scholarship at Manhattan School of Music.  I had also met my beautiful wife at this time at Mt. Hood Community College.  We moved to New York together in 1995.

During my 5 years in New York City I was lucky enough to travel the world as a professional musician while also going to school.  I started performing regularly over-seas as a member of the Glenn Miller Orchestra and did a fair amount of traveling for about 8 years.  I also played in some traveling musicals in the states and abroad.  While in Taiwan I was in the middle of the biggest  earthquake in Taiwan’s history….but that is another story.

While in New York my father started getting sick.  He had been diagnosed with cancer when I was 5 years old but it had been in remission for years.  After graduating from college with a Masters Degree in the Saxophone, I moved back to Oregon to be closer to my dad.  I had done the Warrior Weekend a few years before that.  To be honest……..I didn’t get that much out of it.  Looking back I think I was a little young, or perhaps the staff was a little old.  Either way New Warriors were dad’s circle.  It was many years before I was Robert and not “Pete’s Son”.  

For those of you who never met my father, he would be tough to imagine.   I have yet to meet a man with more integrity or grit.  He did his work and became my closest friend.  The last few years of his life we staffed together, lead pits together, and attended facilitation trainings together.  When we were not doing warrior work we were fishing camping and working on each other’s houses.  My dad was named the Northwest Center’s first ritual Elder months before he passed away.  I was proud of him.

I fought my way through the warrior ranks after my dad was gone.  I was tenacious and full of myself.  No….”fought” is not too strong a term.  I didn’t wait until things were handed to me, I definitely started taking over whatever I could.  And for a young whipper snapper, I was pretty good.  Men jumped when I said jump……go figure.

After 25 or so straight weekends in the Northwest I was burnt out.  I was also the Center Administrator, which at the time was an even more mammoth job than it is now.  I also had not really managed somehow to “deal” with my father’s death and fell into a dark place.

I shut off warrior world completely for two years.  I also left a paperwork nightmare behind me for others to deal with.  After two years of hibernation I emerged wiser, humbler, and more powerful.  I also started putting on my own facilitation workshops at this time, which I really enjoyed. 

By this time I had been on leader track for 6 years and had about 30 staffings.  After a few years of showing up to weekends and rebuilding trust in this community I felt more than ready to be certified.  After one attempt at certification where I didn’t show up very well, I was certified as a co-leader last summer on my second attempt. 

I have learned so much from the men in this circle.  I have really “grown up” doing this work.  From the 23-year-old smartass with little to no respect for authority to now being the new center director.   My dad is laughing in the wind.

I continue to live in Gresham Oregon in a quiet spot of trees.  I live with my wife Kaia who is one of the most powerful women you could ever meet.  We have been married for almost 12 years.  We have a great dog named Sadie……who used to do warrior weekend with me until the camp said no to dogs.  I continue to play some saxophone and teach at a Jazz Camp every summer.  I love to camp and love to cook.

Mostly right now I’m trying to not get too stressed out by the Center director thing.  It is a lot of e-mails and phone conferences to be sure.  I also feel the weight of responsibility in serving you men.

There are some beautiful times ahead and some really good work being done in this center.  I will have much more to say about that next time.

Blessings Brothers,

- Robert “Groov’n Walrus Who Honors Old Boar”  Crowell

By Gregory Kelley, CougarDogHunting

I have been involved with the consciousness movement for many years. Many of you have also followed along. In 1980, Marilyn Ferguson published The Aquarian Conspiracy: Personal and Social Transformation in the 1980s. This book organizes a view of a “great awakening” that comes along now and then in human history. The 80s, 90s and now the new millennium have been a period of deepening and realization that has sown seeds into the depth of our thinking as individuals and as a society. One of the awakenings has been a notice that the initiation process common to tribal peoples, which so strengthens the person and the tribe, had been lost to us. Initiation, simply put, is a ritual process that includes a recognition of the essential value of the individual, a bonding to the earth in appreciation of a spiritual reality, an acceptance and accountability for individual mission and action. The tools that have come about by study of transpersonal psychology now can assist the individual in ongoing healing of the shadows within the mind and a stabilization of the individual in the greater world.

The mission that has come to me through my warrior work is as follows: “To co-create a world of powerful, gentle harmony by unity with spirit.”

It is in this spirit that I reach out to you today. Today we have a new summary book available, this by Arjuna Ardagh, The Translucent Revolution: How People Just Like You Are Waking Up and Changing the World. This book is based on interviews tape recorded over many years, and formatted topically to show what has been going on since The Aquarian Conspiracy was published. Many of us, just plain citizens, have noticed that the world in which we live, the human world that we made up and call “civilization” seems to operate in ways that appear upside-down and backward to what would feel more sensible. We also have endured pain in our personal levels that needs attention and healing. The very thought that we carry personally, and also the thoughts that drive our society have an observable temporary quality, in that these thought may have served us for awhile, but are no longer appropriate or adequate from here on. Systems of treatment call these things complexes, imprints, or schemas. We individually find ways to transform, releaseing the habitual control of these limiting adn often afflictive thought forms. I get to change the world by contibuting my authentic self. Ardagh has a term for the culture which is insanely ego-driven. He says we are in the Iago trance. Iago is a character in Shakespeare’s Othello. He plays one character against another, creating separation and distrust. It is possible to change the cultural mind as we do the individual.

A critical awareness that popped out for me in the learning is the importance of recognizing the split-mind condition of humanity. This is very important because the ego loves to study itself, is genius, and can experience what we consider good emotions as well as harboring the difficult emotions. I use the definition from A Course in Miracles for ego, and acknowledge this word as defined differently by others. Problem is, the ego is fundamentally insane. It includes what we think of as personhood: the body, emotional body, memories, dreams, the whole story. It is developed early in life as a reaction to the world it perceives as fearful. There are many types of egos, or personalities. The other side of the split is what I call the individual self, that which is created by Source, however you imagine Source to be. It is in constant meditation and connected to all spiritual resources. Here I am, writing away as an ego, a person, who has had at least some disposition to attune to that which I am as an individual, and allow its meditations to flow into me as inspiration. I also have been taught by a three-year-old boy recently about the egoic development. The primary point here is that we need to embrace our individuality in order to support evolutionary changes in the person. there are many forms of spiritual practice. I personally turned away from everything churchy for many years, preferring a more general and global study. These days, I have adopted again the term religion, for my religion is my own and is not run by a church of any kind but that which is in my heart. I am a religionist and have faith, a scientist and enjoy the benefits of reason, a philosopher with the connecting capability of logic, the beauty of prose and poetry. All this is to say that taking a seat in the soul is the way.

Getting grounded in the body, on the earth, is also the way. I have experienced the initiation process as demonstrated by The Mankind Project over many years for many men. It uses the tools that have come along in the consciousness movement in a powerful and compassionate manner to host a man to new levels of acceptance, appreciation, and understanding. I have witnessed the efficacy of my own personal work advance mightily because I have brothers with whom I can process, do a piece of work, share, and acknowledge my work in mission and account to my agreements with myself and others. I want you to know that this type of work can go deep and wide. Witnessing inner work assists the visceral changes in the body, effecting a permanent shift as each man desires for himself. An aspect of the human body is that it is an organ of communication. It is a pharmacological factory that makes a chemical environment for whatever set of thoughts is held in belief, consciously or sub-consciously. The facilitated psycho drama protocols we use in our work can get things moving, witnessed, and grounded. I find that regular cardio exercise that includes affirmative chant to be very helpful in releasing afflictive thought patterns from the body memory.

I began this in order to say something about families and communities with this thing called initiation in mind. My experience of families with both partners having experienced an initiation process is that of watching calmness and wisdom in action. Imagine a couple in relationship that can step outside the Iago culture and observe with care and accountability what is being set forth by word and deed, in family operations as well as interpersonal and private matters. Imagine being able to address matters with this respectful acknowledgment of what I am seeing and feeling, and owning my projections and judgements. (We avoid “you” statements, which tend to separate and feel like attack.) Imagine relating to someone who is directly and immediately accounting for the presence of “shadow elements,” otherwise known as egoic patterns mentioned above! Just imagine growing up in such a household! The best families I have been privileged to know have some semblance of these good qualities, preferring. as an example, the “choices and consequences” behavioral schema over the old “crime and punishment” method. One of the benefits of shared initiation is congruency in understanding and application, and, importantly, the ability to spread the practice and to pass it on. I am a big fan of the next 1000 generations of grandchildren.

We have big trouble these days, across the economic board, keeping marriages and families together. I know so many single moms, no man present for the children, or a series of men in some cases. Sometimes boys pursuing adolescent themes, appearing as men. Single dads, too. There is something in initiation as a shared experience that can make possible the safety and well-being of children in their community of family and friends, the extended family, the village. Initiated persons know something about sacred containers. How to create and maintain a sacred container is crucial to sacred duty. Raising children is sacred duty. Firstly, I believe marriage-type relationships are better formed within the umbrella of initiation. I wish someone could have hot-seated me as to my motivations, desires, and also the shadow elements I was about to bring to my marriages. (I bless my ex-partners!) If these parenting relationships do fail, then there can be a concept that protects the hearts and minds of the children better that church or state. The children are the initiates, and the family container is for them. Since all parties in the container are respectfully regarded, the traumas evident in divorces and separations may be much eased or eliminated. The load of raising children is thus spread out to a wisdom-village. Community elders, sage men and crone women, can care, direct, and counsel the young with blessing. It is not necessary to limit this to blood family. Often enough, there is no blood family available. It is possible to merge families into a clan for increased resource sharing. Sacred containers. We have only just begun to uncover the potential.

As a declared elder, I think if these things.

_________________________________________

Gregory Kelley is a philosopher and an accomplished carpenter and IT specialist. He is available to counsel men who find they have a variable gender identity and desire to develop a personal sacred container in which to practice love and acceptance in an intentional cosmology. He lives in Kirkland, WA. gregory@grelleyftree.net