From Defeated to Renewed

October 27th, 2010

By Tim “Laughing Raven” Riggs

 
Tim RiggsDEFEATED…That’s what I was when I arrived at the September New Warrior Training at Camp WaRiKi.  I felt defeated for many reasons.  I have never had a good male role model in my life.  I have always felt belittled and not equal to other men.  This has been so bad that I felt worthless and angry most of the time.

Besides feeling defeated I have to say that I was really frightened.  What was I afraid of?  I was afraid that I was wasting my money attending a camp for men.  I was afraid that I was getting in over my head, and would not be able to do what was required.  I was afraid of being unable to reach my goals.

A very good friend and counselor, Dan Turano, had been telling me for over a year that this group was just what I was looking for.  Even though I completely trusted Dan I had a hard time believing that a group of men whom I had never met would, or could, show support and care about me.

I have to say that the weekend was transformative.  I am NOT the same person who arrived defeated and afraid.  The men working at the camp demonstrated to me that they really did care about me.  I felt that they heard what I had to say.  I felt that they wanted me to become the man I really wanted to be.  I finally felt accepted by a group of men.  I was surprised that they wanted me, not because I could do something for them, not because I had something they wanted, but because they gave a damn about the man behind the pain and fear.

All of my problems are not gone.  I cannot say that because of this camp that life is perfect now, however, these men gave me something no one has ever cared to.  They gave me hope, and because of that hope I am now a New Warrior.  I left the camp feeling a renewed sense of self.  An internal peace seems to have replaced the fear, and acceptance has replaced the anger.          

I cannot believe the quality of the men who worked at the camp.  These men left me feeling humbled and in awe.  I was humbled that they came to serve and care for me.  I was in awe that they accepted me for who and what I am.  Honestly, as I type this I am still amazed at the quality of the men at the camp.  I am honored to be a part of these men.  They are, and have, inspired me to become the man I want to be.  That man is a reflection of each of them.

If you ever wonder why you do this camp I’ll tell you:  you do it for men like me, who are lost.  You do it for men like me, who are in pain.  You do it for men like me, who are afraid. 

So thank you, Dan Turano, for directing me to MKP.  Indeed,  thank you to every man who worked at this camp, and thank you to all of the New Warriors who went through this camp with me.  I appreciate the support, the caring attitude and acceptance shown to me!  Most of all Thank you for the hope!  Because of this camp, and because of all of your hard work I am…RENEWED!

Poetry: Om Sweet Om

October 24th, 2010
   

Om Sweet Om

David ”Tetoes” Bradley

David BradleyBrothers,
 

This poem has been percolating in me for quite some time.  Here’s a little background.  I have struggled with the age old questions of spirit vs. matter for a long, long time.  Essentially how could an infinite, immaterial, and eternal spirit interact with a finite, time-bound, material world?   It has always seemed like an irreconcilable conundrum to me.  As a result of the apparent conundrum, I’ve always sided with the “transcendalists” in which spirit resides only in the transcendental and celestial realms and does not reside in the material world.  Although I still believe that this is fundamentally true I have amended my beliefs as you might be able to tell from the following poem.  This has been an important insight for me and I feel like I have “connected a lot of the dots”. 
Follow the Om

Follow the Om

Follow the Om

Whenever you roam, and you feel all alone, follow the Om, it will faithfully bring you Home.

If in doubt, give it a shout, the GPS of the Heart will always find a way out.

Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and you’ve got a Friend.

Om is infinite in its patience, forever kind, and wholly loving.

Ride the Om

Ride the Om

Ride the Om

In the West, I call Om the Holy Spirit, Grace, or the Word of God.

Regardless of the Name, Om is the infinite power of God in form.

Om, in form, informs us, of our formless and former Home.

Die at the feet of Om and you will never have to die again.

Be the Om

Be the Om

Be the Om

You are the manifestation of Om in this world.

God does indeed walk the earth, swim in the ocean, and soar through the air.

Om is in the world of form but not of the world of form.

Om will never let you down.  For it will gently comb away the fleas of illusion and you will once again wear the thousand petalled lotus crown.

Om waits on invitation and not on time.

Hare Om!

Hurry Home!

Om

Aum

Amen
 
Love and blessings to everyOne!!
David Bradley
Om Tetoes  (Temporary Expression of The One Eternal Self)

“The Good Samaritan a New Warrior”

October 24th, 2010
Steve Norcross
 

“The Good Samaritan a New Warrior”

By Steve “Meadowlark” Norcross

Many people know the story of the Good Samaritan. The story is one of the more famous and popular of the parables that Jesus told his listeners in order to illustrate the nature of God as he knew it.
 
We are coming to appreciate the value of good story telling. When a man tells his story, and he is in a safe and affirming environment, we come to know the man in a way that we would never know if he just told us about himself. Telling one’s story reveals the deeper truth beyond the words.
 
In the story of the Good Samaritan, a man was mugged, beaten, and left half dead by the side of the road by thieves. It was a busy road, and many people saw the victim, turned up their noses, and rushed by. Their refusal to stop and render aid was even more notable because they were not ordinary people. Two of them were a priest and a Levite, representing the Hebrew nation’s finest. Apparently their fine titles and job descriptions did not include showing mercy to a man who was clearly in trouble.
 
Along comes a Samaritan. In that day, people from Samaria were thought to be at best weird and at worst apostate believers. Refusing to accept, for a little while, the judgments of others, the Samaritan man stopped, saw that the victim was alive, revived him probably with water from his jug, saw that the victim’s camel was uninjured, got the man to mount the animal, directed them to an inn, paid the manager for one night’s stay, and promised to return and pay whatever else was needed to see that the victim got back to work and reunited with his family.

To bring this story up to our present day, we view the Good Samaritan as one who went way out of his way to tend to a man who clearly needed help. He went “the second mile” or more like the 50th mile to see to the man’s welfare. And in the helping, there was no attention paid to class or race.
 
We men are asked to be New Warriors. That is, we respond to the world’s needs, not to dominate or control, but to offer what we can without paying too much attention to what others think of us, or of what we think of ourselves. Any man who sees a need, and stops, and gives what he can on behalf of someone who has fallen on hard times, that man is like a New Warrior.
 
And in the stopping and helping, we find that all those things that used to divide us fall away. When a homophobic man is served by a gay man, the old prejudice doesn’t mean much anymore. When a black man or brown or red man is served by a white man, the old prejudice doesn’t mean much anymore. When a man with an advanced degree is served by a man with a high school education, the old prejudice doesn’t mean much anymore. The New Warrior is not stopped by the conventional barriers. He serves others because he can, and because it is his joy to do so.
 
The New Warrior man is like the Good Samaritan. And the world is much, much richer for it.

Poetry: My King

October 24th, 2010

My King

Stefan MalecekI have found him -
not the lonely lost child who had, for so very long,
been craving authentic adult attention,
but The King, My King!
 
I have always felt myself lacking in inner authority,
deprived or deficient of the kind of guidance
a sovereign ruler seems to just have naturally,
though even princes of the blood have fathers and mentors
to teach them the ever-shifting patterns of power
that they will have to variously use throughout their lifetimes.
 
Nonetheless, it has always seemed to me,
though as I age I am seeing the illusion,
that most men have an inborn sense of direction
that leads them to be driven along their own paths,
and that, whether rightly or wrongly, lends them
a sense of superiority and righteousness
that women seem to find sexy and attractive,
that men respond to as leadership and command.
 
My King seems quite different to me -
less arrogant, less self-righteous, less pedantic.
Perhaps it is all of the years I slaved in the mines,
breaking my back to feel as worthy as the other peóns,
yet always carrying an innate sense that
there was something more, there had to be something more
than heartbreak and misery, immersed on a daily basis
in shit and mire and ill-self feeling;
inundated with shame and self-repudiation,
wanting, craving, always needing more -
yet always believing, with faith unshakable,
that there had to be more, that I could be more,
that I could embrace and own a bigger, better life
than the tiny, sclerotic, obtunded one I had always known.
 
My King feels strong without needing to bully;
My King feels commanding without needing to punish;
My King feels compassionate without needing to be obsequious;
My King feels passionate without needing to berserk;
My King feels loving without needing to possess;
My King feels generous without needing to dispossess himself;
My king feels valid without needing to compulsively seek approval;
My King feels what is right without needing to judge wrong;
My King feels rejuvenated without diminishing others;
My King feels free flowing without blocking others;
My King feels able to inspire without losing vitality;
My King feels related to other men’s sovereignty.
 
 

Perhaps I have but only rarely seen previously real regality.
Perhaps I have but only rarely seen previously a larger reality.
 
Mayhap I have been wandering for decades, eons even,
immersed in the thick, dark soup of my own illusion,
boiling and roiling in the black nacres of my own delusion -
 
For, if what I am now feeling and seeing is more true than false,
is more true than all that I had previously thought that I had known,
is more valid than the vast array I had previously assumed as given -
 
then I must acknowledge yet another peripeteia,
a sudden awakening to the understanding
that all that I had held to be true
is now revealing itself to have been falsity -
 
“When the truth is found to be lies,”
as the Jefferson Airplane once intoned,
“you know the joy within you dies” -
 
much as I had once been conditioned to believe myself loved as a child,
and set about purposely to investigate that archaic idea,
finally lacerating that puffed-up illusion like a malignant pocket of pus -
 
it seems that much of the world is still unaware -
or kept purposely napping by the agents of skullduggery,
lulled into fitful slumber whilst the forces of fascist order
arrange and prepare the constraints of our new world future.
 
of the malignant nature of savage manhood,
or at least that which it accepts it as “normal,”
the often ferocious ravaging young boys endure
in order to make a barbarous passage into “maturity,”
in order to be accepted by other men as “normal,”
and assume their “rightful” place in the world.
 
I recognize the king in me now.
I see me in regal, yet not grandiose, splendor.
I see that authentic sovereignty is the key
to inspiring and uplifting a battered humanity,
or at least its long deprived masculinity -
and assist in the difficult birthing of a different world
rising, arising in our very midst,
one man, one true King, at a time.
                                                    

Stefan “Phoenix Heart Resplendent” Malecek
 

The True Meaning of Diversity

October 24th, 2010

By Duke  ”Red Elk” BhuphaiboolThe NWTA was one of the most significant weekends of my life. I discovered a sense of hope for the planet and for humanity. For the first time, I had a sense that I belong to a place and a community. I had returned to humanity. On Sunday, September 7th, 2008, I returned home and began integrating this new paradigm and energy shift.

Over the course of two years, I staffed, MOSed, and pursued various trainings. In a vast majority of these events, I encountered what I’ll call the “racial conditioning” of our society. While I’ve experience overt incidents of racism in my life from verbal to physical assaults, the vast majority of the racism I encounter is the social climate of our society and its implied statements and “unintentional” cuts. This covert flavor of racism is no less destructive and has had a far reaching effect on my life. After a year of bumping into incidents of racism within MKP, the dam finally broke. I have spent close to three decades letting things slide, denying my own perceptions and emotions and distracting myself from the issue of race so that I can survive in a white world. The resulting effects are what brought me to MKP in the first place: an emasculated self, a well of pain and grief and a denial of my own humanity.

The return of my humanity, a sense of self-worth and the experience of my own authenticity and integrity were antagonistic to the climate of racism and its unwitting personal expressions from people I care about and men with whom I strove to have an authentic relationship. I found myself much less willing to let things slide or to ignore incidents. Even then, I could not address many of the occurrences if I hoped to make it through life. Fighting an institution by myself, especially one based on denial, is a futile effort. Accepting that institutionalized racism existed in our circles was difficult for me as I had hoped for a place of refuge from this toxic societal institution.

I imagine that when an average American thinks of racism, he conjures up an image of Hitler or a member of the Ku Klux Klan ranting overt supremacist beliefs. I imagine he thinks of verbal and physical assaults. He doesn’t see the white-centric views and value system of society in media, language and everyday interactions. He doesn’t notice seemingly benign comments that dehumanize and support the structure of institutionalized racism. Even the concept of racism as an institution escapes many. After all, the civil rights movement was 45 years ago, we have an African-(Euro)-American man as President, and racism is a thing of the past, is it not?

The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer. – Edward R. Murrow

And yet, the social and political events of the past few years have shown that the covert is becoming increasingly overt. Racism appeared to have receded into the shadow of political correctness and fear is driving it back out.

The most destructive aspect of racism today is the misconception that it is overt, heinous, and intentional acts perpetrated by “bad” people. I believe that I am a good person, and, I have racist thoughts just about every day. I believe that all people are good people, and I believe that good people do many things without understanding the impacts and consequences of their words and actions. Some of us have a word for it – shadow. When shadow is shared across the society, it becomes like the air we breathe; it becomes an institution.

“A vision is always ahead of its time and usually unpopular, because mankind resists and fears change.” – Context Presentation

There are men in MKP who share a vision of a Multicultural MKP. “Let’s make our circles look like our country” or “Let’s invite men who look different than you into our circles” are stated in emails and trainings. I haven’t met any man who openly disagrees with this. It appears to be a well received and popular vision.

Why is it then, that there a so few men of color in our circles? How many men of color do you know intimately? How many of those relationships are within MKP and how many are outside MKP? Do you visit their world? Or do you only know them because they live in yours? As a nation, we are still living in divided worlds. As an organization, we are still living in a white (and white-centric) world.

There is a disconnect between the vision of diversity and the reality of where we are and where we seemingly want to go. I say seemingly because the focus of our racial multicultural initiative seems to be on getting men of color into the project with invitations and scholarship funds. I also see a newly instated requirement to have a multicultural training before the tenth staffing. I have seen this training posted as a 4 hour evening session as well as a one-day workshop on –isms in general.

I’ve had numerous men comment on my presence in their circles. Though in two years, I’ve only had one man acknowledge what it might be like for me, as an Asian-American man, to sit in our circles. To date, no one has asked me about my experience as an Asian-American man in MKP. Many men have approached me to state that they want to learn about “race” from me. Thus far, only one man has pursued that request further.

From this, what I see as the first disconnect is the difference between the idea of diversity (the presence of more men of color in our circles) and the reality and implication of true diversity (my experiences in MKP). My fear is that the current vision of diversity is about adding visual color to a white organization rather than doing the real work and relating to me as a person. As an Asian man, my race seems to be either an impediment or a commodity in society. Only Euro-Americans seems to have the privilege of being a person first and a race second (if it’s ever brought up at all).

The second disconnect is our understanding of race. Currently, we require that senior staffmen do a one-day workshop on –isms in general. I can tell you that my path to becoming aware of my cultural conditioning and the subsequent choice that awareness gives me takes vigilance and active effort. It is to go against the force and flow of society and I fall into my acculturation on a daily basis. When I fall asleep to it, I unwittingly support and propagate the structure of institutionalized oppression. It is a lifelong (un)learning that requires far more work than a one-day workshop can possibly offer.

What I have learned from talking to and working with men and women with privilege is that the general belief is that institutionalized oppression is: a) overt and b) something that exists outside themselves. It is something to be learned, if they wish to. I believe many people with privilege miss how they have been affected by it all of their lives. And it seems the common view is that racism is something on the outside to be understood conceptually in order to help the oppressed.

Perhaps the true gold of our multicultural path, like the NWTA, will not be something to be learned or understood but something to be felt and experienced. Racism is not something happening to people of color. It is something that affects us all. Most importantly, there is a cost to having privilege.

“To be afraid is to behave as if the truth were not true.” – Bayard Rustin

When I talk to people about racism, I see much fear. There is also guilt and shame expressed by white men and women when the topic of racism is discussed.  To me, this implies a certain level of awareness and also a certain level of denial. Throughout the history of our nation, the majority of Americans have never considered racism to be a problem – not today, not during the civil rights era and not during slavery.

If we continue to ignore the implication of true racial diversity and see that the unheard stories of men of color are directly related to the stories of white America, men of color will not come. If they come, I believe many will not stay. In the past two years, my personal experience (including an incident when I was being facilitated), repeated raising of this topic and numerous conversations with initiated men of all leadership levels tells me that it is not safe for me to talk about or do personal work on racism in our circles.

Mankind Project is an international organization – in Western Europe and its former colonies where the majority of the population are of European descent. This work has travelled around the planet and yet our diversity initiative is in its infancy. Are we willing to step into the name “Mankind Project”?

“You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”

-Morpheus, The Matrix

Our cultural shadows pervade our organization. In our nation, there is 500 years of healing waiting for us. Can we wake up to it? Racial diversity is not an “optional” training for those “called” to it. It is the birthright of our human family and who we are as a people. We can ignore its call, but I do not believe it is why we strive to live our mission. My belief is that our humanity and the humanity of our ancestors and our children are at stake.

There is fear, guilt, shame, anger, grief and sadness. The path is full of blood and tears. Are we ready for it? Are we the ones to begin the return to humanity?

“There is no peace because we have forgotten that we belong to each other” – Mother Teresa

To begin to see racism for what it is and how it affects our everyday life and society is to begin to understand the true meaning and implication of diversity in our circles, our life and the world. It is to begin to see our cultural shadows and our part in supporting institutionalized oppression. It is to begin to claim our humanity, release our fears, and truly connect with those who we thought were different than ourselves.

The true meaning of diversity does not lie in recruitment; it lies in our own work on cultural shadows and in making real connections with people who look different than us. Are you willing to form true friendships with men outside your circles? Are you willing to go to where they stand rather than expecting them to come to us? Are you willing to go into your fear about race? Are you willing to look at privilege, the other side of the racism coin?

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. – A Hopi Elder speaks

We are all already on the multiculturalism path. Where are we going to go with it is the question. The path to true diversity and the human family is not about recruitment or head-learning about-isms. It is walking into the darkness of our cultural legacy and the reality of our lives today. It is through making the heart connections that are born of authenticity and honoring where we truly are and where we’ve truly been.

It is from this place that our circles will be safe enough for all men; all women; all of humanity.

It is from this place that we can step fully into the name “The Mankind Project.”

The Choices I Make

October 24th, 2010
“The Choices I Make”

 By David “Strong Eagle” Gallant

 
David GallantI feel a great cloud has been lifted and I can now see a path forward. It is quite simple, and something I have realized intellectually for my whole life but not understood how to put into practice.
“The reality that I create is my choice.”
I have spent much of my energy throughout my life trying to fix the things I see as broken. This mindset has served me well in various areas of my life relating to the mechanical world but living beings are not machines. My focus on the problems around me has has created a world of judgment and isolation for me and often pain for those around me.

When I can find a place where I feel peaceful within myself, I begin to make choices that have a positive effect on me and the world around me. This “peace” seems to grow as I begin to acknowledge my shadows and hold them in front of me with honesty.  I am finding greater acceptance for who I am rather than fear and self loathing. I am beginning to see that my strengths (not my shadows) can drive my actions if I choose to be aware. I feel hopeful and excited for the future as my thoughts and my actions are becoming more into balance. I am feeling stronger with each day.

The good men I am connecting with and tools I am learning from MKP are instrumental in helping me to form my new reality. For the first time in a long time I feel proud of myself that I have something to contribute to a greater good…Each one of us is contributing to building this wonderful community of men and a positive force in the world.

CD Note – Oct. 2010

October 24th, 2010
By Robert “Groov n Walrus” Crowell  
Music is My MistressRobert CrowellI’m not sure when my love for music started.  There was often music on in the house when I was young especially Beatles, Dylan and Willie Nelson.  My dad played guitar and knew about 12 songs that he played and sang really well.  In the third grade I got my first “Boom Box” and my first tape….Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”….I wore that thing out.

I had the opportunity in the sixth grade to take beginning band but it required that I walk 2 1/2 miles to school and be there by 6:30 a.m…….no way!    I started the alto sax in the 7th grade.  My Grandmother send me a cheap sax that my uncle had used….I wanted to play the trombone, but the sax was free.  With the alto sax came a much larger mouthpiece which I showed to my band director.  As it turned out, it was a baritone sax mouth piece.  I was very small for my age and when my teacher showed me a saxophone bigger than I was….I just had to play it.  Usually the Baritone is played by someone who couldn’t make the band on alto or tenor…..a trend I would spend much of my life bucking.
 
I was fortunate to have parents who supported me by driving me to many lessons on piano, improvisation, clarinet, flute as well as many trips to the Salem music store.  By the time I was in a Sophmore in high school I was winning soloist awards at many festivals and was practicing several hours a day.   I also attended the “Mel Brown Summer Jazz Camp”  which I still teach at today.
 
Even though I worked hard in high school, I wasn’t good enough to get much scholarship money to any colleges.  I ended up at Mt. Hood community college.  I sat in the back hallway of the music department and practiced for 3 years.  I got there early….I practiced in-between classes…..I practiced after everyone went home.   I peacticed most nights untill campus security through me out.  I practiced in parks……behind Safeways late at night.  And so went the next decade…..the decade of practicing.
 
While at Mt. Hood Community college I made my first CD, met my wife, and was playing professionally around Portland pretty regularly.   I was in Los Angeles at a national Jazz convention when I heard a young Baritone Sax player from New York.  He kicked my ass.  It was clear he had a teacher that I didn’t.  I found his teacher in NY city.  If that was where the master was, then that was where I was going.
 
I moved to New York to study with Joe Temperley and to attend Manhattan School of Music.  My wife to be moved with me and I lived in a closet size apartment with a view of a brick wall “for real”.   I was fortunate to play in the top band at school all four years I was there.  I had  a great scholarship and studied from some of the world’s best teachers. It was a great time.  Every summer I would come home and spend time with friends and family.  It was one of those summers while liiving in NY that I came home and did something called a “Warrior Weekend”….oh well……not important.   While in school I started playing and traveling with the Glenn Miller Orchestra.  There were trips to Chile, Brazil, Uruguay, Poland……as well as about 7 cruises all over the world.   I also played is a Musical called “Forever Swing”.  My best friend and partner in crime on the tour was Michael Buble…..perhaps you have heard of him.
 
Two thing happened.  First……I hurt my hands pretty badly from practicing too much saxophone while in NY.  I couldn’t play for 9 months.  Even though I slowly built my chops up over the next year……..I was never going to be able to practice as hard as I once did.  At 25 it seemed at the time my best musical days were behind me.  This was also about the time my father was sick with cancer.  I moved home with my wife from New York after getting my masters degree and spent a few years hanging out with Dad and bareley scraping a living at all.
 
When my father passed I played at his funeral.  It woulld be eight years untill I would play saxophone again and feel good about it.
 
Whille in Oregon I also started teaching.  I spent a year teaching at Mt. Hood Community College directing Big Band and Combos.  I also had a Public School teaching job for three years.  My big band won both the Lionel Hampton and Monterey Jazz Festivals.  I was using warrior tools on kids and they were playing without fear and with lots of passion.   Even though my band was 1/2 junior high kids….we were beating some of the biggest most prestigious art’s schools in the country.  I also was given the “Presidents Award”  which is given every year to 2 teachers in each state.  I was the first Band Director in Oregon to ever recieve the award.
 
In three years I graduated 9 students.  They amassed almost 2 million dollars in scholarship offers to top schools.  I have 3 student’s at Berkley school of music and 2 at Manhattan school of music.  I also have continued teaching at the Mel Brown Camp for the last 20 years.
 
After an 8 year break……I finally have my chops back.  I have been practicing for the last six months.  I also have a new band to play in.  I’m playing with Chuck ‘isreals a world famous bass player.  He played with Bill Evand for years and is on a John Coltrane album.   My first performance is in Everett Washington on  October 29th.
 
My wife is the love of my life.  Center Director is a job I do out of love.  But…..music is once again my mistress.
 
If you go to Youtube and type in “Robert Crowell Big Band”  there are some videos of me working with kids last summer.

CD Note – July 1, 2010

July 1st, 2010

Greetings Brothers,

I hope you are enjoying the beginning of summer.  I’m going to see if I can get you caught up on what is happening in our center as well as how we are looking forward to the future.

In the next few weeks you will be receiving more specific information on our re-structuring effort here in the Northwest Center.  We are looking to simplify the way we operate and potentially make some changes to the council.  You will be asked for your input and any concerns you may have.  We are basically looking to move to a board of directors.  I see this as a natural evolution.  I would like to see a smaller board of directors dealing with the business and free up some other men to build community at home.  We think we can operate more efficiently.  Please look for more info in the coming weeks. 

One of the places where there is still much room to grow is around community.  I believe we have failed to bring the women and children into our community in any meaningful way.  Announcing………Our first major Mixed Gender Event!!!!!

Chautauqua……..Oct. 1,2,3, ……At Camp Wa-ri-ki…..

Lets put on a weekend focusing on the women and children.  Friday there will be a “Golden Hot-seat” for children and adolescents.  Your children will have the opportunity to be blessed one at a time by the greater community.  On Saturday we will have a ceremony honoring the women in our lives.  There will be activities for kids…..kickball, softball, swimming in the river, ping-pong, games , hikes…..and other events specifically for kids.  There will also be the opportunity to spend some time looking at how men and women make stories about each other as well as project onto children.

Sweats……Games…..Honoring……Anybody is welcome…….Family and friends!!!

Please put the first weekend in October on your calendar.  More will be announced soon.

This will be an event ………..for sure.

Center Accountability;

We raised staff fees last year.  It is of course an on-going challenge to provide funds  for men who don’t have money to attend the NWTA.    At the time we put this years budget together  “the NW council”  told the community that all of the money from staff fees would be going to scholarship.  We/I am of accountability with that promise.  What we are making more important is to try and stay in financial integrity around our other commitments.  This was done with the best of intentions.  However….we cannot afford to put all of the staff fees towards scholarship, It in fact makes our cash flow problems much worse. I can see how this looks like a bait and switch.  I assure you it was not.  The shadow is that we are often too optimistic as to what money the center will bring in a given year.  We end up making commitments to our community with the best of intentions.  I feel sadness that we are not able to live up to the commitment around staff fees.  Do not plan on staff fees going up again………not if I can stop it. After a slow start to the year in both additional trainings and initial I-groups, we will be dipping into our reserves that we would rather not touch ever.  This is not unlike other challenges we have faced before.  And….with a strong fall hopefully we can put the reserve money back.

Please put the Chautauqua down for October and be on the lookout for info regarding our restructuring. 

As you attend your summer events and gatherings be on the lookout for men to join our circle.

Perhaps there are some men who would benefit with what we know. 

Perhaps you know men who could teach us something.

If you see something that isn’t happening in your community………Make it happen.

- Robert “Groov’n Walrus” Crowell

Volcanic Disruption

June 30th, 2010

by Miik “Enveloping SilverBack” Wells

So, here I sit in this cage in the king’s courtyard…my anger is overflowing, pouring through my pores, as I struggle mightily with these bars.  I can’t unleash my full force, because all it would do is hurt me and my wife, who is in here with me.
 
I wasn’t prepared for THIS part of coming home.
 
I remember being freed from my watery prison in February of 2008.  I had an awesome job as a movement teacher in a Head Start preschool, which gave me the perfect opportunity to act out my reawakened inner force—with children, with teachers, with coworkers, with friends.  I immediately introduced everyone to my next level and started weaving my dreams into the fabric of reality!
 
Fast forward to May 2009 and it was all stolen from me…to this day, I am STILL imprisoned in unemployment.  Each resume sent out is an attempt to break these bars, each rejection is someone in the courtyard mocking me, each bill a lash from a guard’s whip across my face.  I’m trying to unfurl the lesson in this, but I’m ALREADY a reflective individual, so all this thought is merely adding to my volcanic pressure.
 
It’s June 2010…where is that little boy with his golden ball?  I KNOW he is my freedom.  Every sunrise, candle and bonfire raise my hopes only to be cut down, yet again.  I’m sad…where is he?  I’m ashamed…why isn’t he here?  I’M SO DAMN ANGRY!  LET ME OUT OF THIS CAGE!!!
 
This “conversation” I wrote in 2008 seems apropos:
 
Straight in the face of a menace.  An undeniable maniacal presence of aggression.  Never backing down from a position of restriction, this tyrant pleads at me with his transparent intimidation to ease off the pressure.  I refuse…
 
What you did was uncalled for.  How you reacted was wrong.  Why you did it was small.  Who you attacked was your brother.  You embodied EVERYthing you see wrong with what “the man” stands for to you:  merciless, uncaring, manipulative, overbearing, controlling and foolish!  Oh, yes, you did…
 
Nevermind how you underminded the fertile process of a rich opportunity.  Nevermind how you hijacked the wondrous process of discovering a deeper sense of communal identity.  Nevermind that you punched the gut of EVERY person in that room who had even an iota of understandable trepidation.  You became an enemy to your family…
 
Looking deep into the eyes of a scared little boy, cowering behind his Frankenstein’s monster—I remember that little boy, still.  Actually, I not only remember, but I still AM that scared little boy.  My decision to dispense with my own monster representative turns out to be the difference between me and this quasi-imposing figure.  I can see this puppet master desperately hoping that which it clashes with will flinch at the overplayed display, so the tongue-numbing truth will not have to be tasted; trying everything in its arsenal to move this force from its solid position, in an effort to stay hidden away in the comforts of its cave.
 
I’m an ego-terrorist, boy!  The natural will prevail…it’s a birthright.  No apologies will be offered by intuition, as it simply JUST IS.  And, your wanting it NOT TO BE reveals a deep-rooted willful ignorance that borders blatant stupidity, which MUST be purged!
 
I wish you well in your travels, even if you choose to stand before me again; but, know this:  any, and I do mean ANY, harmful energies wrought by your being in the direction of my being or any being or life I care for WILL have devastating affects to you and your whirld.
 
No threat…  Simply…what…is…

with profound love,
Miik

Grace is All Around Us

June 30th, 2010

By Abhishek “Radiant Serpant” Kulkarni

After the NWTA weekend in April at Camp Wariki, it felt so wonderful to have the support of so many brothers for the first time in my life. I have always missed this feeling, this vacuum that had never been filled up until this weekend. I feel blessed and grateful and give thanks to the Almighty who is guiding me along on my journey.

I felt a strong desire to share an incident with you all that was so powerful for me. As brother “Definitive Jaguar” and I were driving back to Seattle, we made our first stop at a gas station to stretch our legs. As soon as I got out of the car, along came a sweet little boy, probably 5-6 years old, with the most wonderful smile on his face, bubbling with innocence, and he eagerly asked me “Can I clean your wind shields?” I looked at his face and could not stop smiling. It was an amazing feeling looking into his eyes. I asked him “Would you like to clean them?” and he replied with the most enthusiastic yes. And as he started cleaning the back windshield, he told me his name was Elijah and that it is mentioned in the Bible. Then he told me that he likes songs with a lot of bass in them and mentioned a few names. I just kept looking at his face with rapture. When he was done, I asked him if I could touch his hands. I held them in my hands and felt joy and happiness all inside me. I told him he is such a wonderful child and I bless him all the happiness in the world and would like to give him some money as a token of appreciation for his work.

Elijah took the money and then said “I want to clean the front windshield too”. He had such a broad smile on his face doing the work he was doing, that I could not say no to him. He then asked me if this was my car, to which I replied that yes, it is my and my wife’s car. And then Elijah said the sweetest thing I had heard, “I want to clean the side mirrors as a surprise gift for your wife” and started wiping the mirror with a towel. At that point, I had tears in my eyes looking at the beautiful spirit inside this boy. As I bent down, and looked into his eyes again, and thanked him for his work, his smile just pierced straight through my heart to my very core. It was so magical for me to think that my first human interaction to the outside world came in the form of an innocent little boy, who acted as a mirror for the inner child within me; the divine child with whom I got connected for the first time in my life during the hero’s journey and through the powerful visualizations at the weekend. And here he was, manifesting as Elijah, smiling and happy that I had seen through to him and finally had the courage to hear his voice. I could not help but marvel at the beauty in the universe and the guiding forces at work. It further strengthened my belief in what I have always felt to be true: once I declare my intentions and wants consciously and clearly to the universe, the universe starts conspiring to make things happen for me. I felt truly humbled and blessed by this entire incident. I know I will never forget Elijah’s face and his radiant smile, I shall carry the memories of this experience with me forever.

Once again, I cannot put in words the amount of gratitude and appreciation I have for each and every man who was there with me this weekend, standing shoulder to shoulder, as the wall of support that I had always wished for. My wish came true this weekend and I feel alive again, looking forward to the journey ahead. I know this was but one step forward on the long road ahead, the long and winding road to discover my own heart and soul.